So before we get into this, let me say right off the bat that I have only just completed Actual Sunlight. I’m 11 trophies richer for the experience (for that is what this truly is), the game is simplistic and mainly text-based and if you’re a PlayStation Plus member the game is free for the month of October – you have no reason to not add this game to your PSVita library. Firstly, there will be spoilers within this review, however the game was released back in 2013, so I doubt this will upset many people. Secondly, this review comes after I was lucky enough to experience it on my Vita, which is by far the best way I can think of to experience this – the thought provoking game truly needs to be experienced in a place where you can be comfortable and alone.
Before we go any further, I want to share that I had a breakdown about 12 months ago and I’m still repairing the parts of my life that I shattered. I want to share with you that I seriously considered suicide for a long time and that even now I think that the only reason I did not do so was simply through cowardice as opposed to any form of inner strength that an outsiders view may believe me to have found. However, I now have a beautiful woman that I share my life with, 2 kittens that frustrate me to hell but would die for if needed and my work life has become that much easier now that Im learning the art of “not giving a fuck”. I’m so much happier now than I was 12 months ago, and happier still than I was 2 years ago as it turns out. Please do not think that I am writing this to evoke a “woe is/was me” from anyone, simply that Actual Sunlight hit me harder than I expected it to and I believe that my real life experiences helped it do so.
Will O’Neill’s game about “love, depression and the corporation” centres itself around an overweight, tortured and miserable son of a bitch by the name of Evan Winter, a young professional whatever who is quite clearly suffering from a form of depression. Straight away I can see that this game, despite its heavy themes of depression and suicide, is incredibly funny. It’s black humour strikes out at me as I play and find myself rooting for a pixelated, 2D character that I’ve know for a couple of hours as the entire text seems to come direct from Evan’s warped and bleak perspective. These perspectives are fed to the audience in a few different forms, though most notable of these are his Patient Transcripts; dialogue between Evan and his Doctor. The conversations are always tied to what we see and ‘hear’ and often Evan looks into things deeper than most, coming to question his existence most times along the way. The whole ordeal opens up and we’re posed with a statement – “I know what you’re thinking: Why keep getting up, day in and day out, even though your life is going nowhere?”
The sad thing is that despite however hopeful you may be that Evan’s view on his life and existence will change, they only flicker briefly toward hopeful before spiralling down toward suicidal again. I could not believe how the game ended, all of Evan’s emotional struggles coming together to finally crush the man. I won’t talk about what occurs, as I won’t do it the justice it deserves and I wish not to truly spoil it for anyone. However, my heart broke for Evan and feelings that I had thought I had fought my way past had resurfaced along the journey – this is a very personal and intimate game despite it’s continuous feeling of loneliness and the thoughts portrayed by Evan often reflected my own, though far more elaborate and eloquent than I’d have ever been able to put together. This is an experience that guides you along the thoughts of a man who has given up on himself, his life and decides from the outset that it is time to die, the journey that you take to reach the finale is brutal, but also bleakly beautiful.
Evan Winter
Don’t take this moping paragraph above as an indication that Actual Sunlight isn’t enjoyable, it truly is. It’s probably the best game I’ve ever played on my Vita and an experience that I will be going back to, but it is worth noting that these mature themes of depression and suicide are at the very forefront of the game and therefore anyone who is more easily affected by these than others should tread carefully.
In terms of gameplay; there really isn’t any. You move Evan around his environments and interact with pretty much everything, however this is where the game truly shines; each interaction will reveal a snippet of Evans thoughts and give a deeper insight to this pixelated man. It doesn’t matter if it’s a stranger on a bus or a sink in your kitchen, Evan has something to say and it’s important that you take the time to read each thought and enjoy what is being said.
Evans workplace, one of the top down views of the pixelated Toronto.
Final Fantasy 15 is coming out this year and as Colin Moriarty said – we’re getting a game about a boy band. I don’t know what drove Will O’Neill to decide that Actual Sunlight was a good idea, but he was right. Actual Sunlight is an experience that demonstrates that games are more than they have ever been and this deserves to be played by everyone, this is the type of experience that we deserve to be given and we should support this type of indie gaming.
SUMMARY: Actual Sunlight lacks any real game play, aside from moving from point A to point B. However the story, impact and thought behind it make it one of the greatest experiences out there. A dark and bitter story that will resonate with all in a big way, players should spend a couple of hours learning about Evan and his struggle before moving onto the next Call of Duty.
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